The Biblical View of Marriage

It's difficult to think about family issues and avoid the Biblical view of marriage. I may be wrong, but it seems to me there is hardly any area in Christian life so little heeded, with such dire results.

Let's start with the obvious. A Christian marriage can only take place between two Christians! When segregation was still active in this country, the Old Testament ban on Jews marrying non-Jews was often taught as racial. That's completely incorrect, as even a cursory New Testament reading on the subject will show.

What God actually says is not to marry anyone who doesn't believe in, and follow, Him. You can never completely know the state of another person's soul, but it is a sin to marry a person you don't believe is a Christian. That's right, a sin. Not unwise. Not a poor choice. God says Christians should only marry Christians.

That naturally impacts dating. Christians should only date Christians. Why? Because in its largest sense dating is about finding a mate. In America, almost every serious relationship starts as a casual one.

But what if you didn't heed God's command, or you weren't saved, yourself, until after you married an unsaved person? The Bible says you should live a Christian life before that person, hoping your example will persuade them to accept Christ.

That means you should stay married to them and not respond in kind if the unchristian person acts in an unchristian way. Tough? Absolutely. That's why God commanded that you marry a Christian to begin with. Much of God's discipline in our lives is reaping what we sow. Nowhere have I seen that to be more true than marriage.

The next thing that needs to be addressed is the idea of love in marriage. The Bible is clear that we should love our spouse. But we often mistake love for passion. The two are not the same. By marrying for "love," we think loving our spouse will be easy.

Wrong!

After the passion wears thin, we're still married. Passion is not enough to fuel a marriage for a lifetime. Though feelings usually accompany love, love is not a feeling. Love is a decision. "Forsaking all others" and "'til death do us part" – that's what love is. The "romps in the hay" are the easy part. Love is the decision to stick around and do your part, no matter what.

The truth is, while the Bible does not speak against marrying for "love," it doesn't promote the idea, either. In fact, the Bible doesn't even suggest there is a right reason to choose a particular mate. Like it or not, there is nothing wrong with marrying for money or power or looks or passion or any other reason you choose, as long as you marry a Christian.

The thing is, though, the Bible says that once you marry – for any reason – the required commitment is the same. Marry for money if you want. But you still have to love your spouse and forsake all others for the rest of the time you are both left on earth. Marry because you think he or she is good looking – same thing. Marry for "love" – same thing.

Knowing this, a wise person would look past the superficial and at least try to base their marriage of things of depth. But that's your call. Your commitment to the marriage, on the other hand, is God's commandment.

Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:6, I Corinthians 7:2-3, 12-16, II Corinthians 6:14, Ephesians 5:25-30, Colossians 3:19, I Timothy 5:14, Hebrews 13:4